Geen zin, geen zin? Dan maak je maar zin!

So, my cancer cells are of the agressive kind, that behave badly. This basically means the full treatment for me, I heard this week.

Four months of chemotherapy, one year of herceptin, 6 weeks of radiation, 5 x a week and if I am a candidate, 5 years of hormone treatment.

The fact that I really will be a patient for the coming year is sinking in. The idea is exhausting.

The good news is that, if I do all that, the chance of the cancer popping up somewhere else in my body within the next five years will be less than 10%, which is a good statistic.

I have heard the treatment is do-able. Especially if you have been pregnant. It's just like the first three months of pregnancy for seven months. That's alright then. I was at my best in the first three months.

But at this very moment, I just feel that I do not want to do this. Like a child being dragged to the dentist. If I smoked, I would smoke a few more now. Drinking is an option, but doesn't have the required effect, if you don't finish your glass. Spending money is obviously another way I often use to express myself. I find myself dangerously surfing the web, looking at shopping sites and briefly thinking I do need those green leather booties, designed by a designer, to make me feel better. So far, I have contained myself and restricted my purchases to three "comfortable turbans in fashionable colours", designed for chemotherapy patients.

UPDATE: I do not need to take the herceptin after all, as my cells are not receptive to that treatment. So, after chemo, it's radiation and then hormone treatment.




Love S1