Friday, September 14, 2007

Geen zin, geen zin? Dan maak je maar zin!

So, my cancer cells are of the agressive kind, that behave badly. This basically means the full treatment for me, I heard this week.

Four months of chemotherapy, one year of herceptin, 6 weeks of radiation, 5 x a week and if I am a candidate, 5 years of hormone treatment.

The fact that I really will be a patient for the coming year is sinking in. The idea is exhausting.

The good news is that, if I do all that, the chance of the cancer popping up somewhere else in my body within the next five years will be less than 10%, which is a good statistic.

I have heard the treatment is do-able. Especially if you have been pregnant. It's just like the first three months of pregnancy for seven months. That's alright then. I was at my best in the first three months.

But at this very moment, I just feel that I do not want to do this. Like a child being dragged to the dentist. If I smoked, I would smoke a few more now. Drinking is an option, but doesn't have the required effect, if you don't finish your glass. Spending money is obviously another way I often use to express myself. I find myself dangerously surfing the web, looking at shopping sites and briefly thinking I do need those green leather booties, designed by a designer, to make me feel better. So far, I have contained myself and restricted my purchases to three "comfortable turbans in fashionable colours", designed for chemotherapy patients.

UPDATE: I do not need to take the herceptin after all, as my cells are not receptive to that treatment. So, after chemo, it's radiation and then hormone treatment.

Love S1

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