Friday, May 4, 2007

Please don't talk to me just now; I am following a program

After bearing two large children and adhering to a strict diet of wine and cheese, my body mysteriously transformed itself into a blob with two rather sturdy legs under it.
I hoped that moving to California, well known for its fit people, would encourage me to recover a body, finally enabling me to buy cheaper clothes. My first strategy: 'eat less, excercise more' only got meagre results. Maybe because I didn't eat less. The American brunches took a while adjusting to, and the wine and cheeese just kept popping up in my diet.

Anyway, in SF it was enough. The diet cynic has joined a program. It is very good. Basically you eat nothing in a healthy way. THEY monitor you every other day, and motivate you to keep up the good work by letting you hold mounds of fat to show you how much you've lost. When you have had a bad few days, basically every weekend, THEY look very dissapointed, but speak words of encouragement.

I've lost two of these and my goal is to cradle this lump in my arms.

I sometimes cheat a bit at the weekends, because it gets a little boring eating nothing, but we are going in the right direction. Now, if I breathe in and you squint, you may actually see a waist and the fantasies about big, smelly cheeses, sitting on a plate right in front of me, are perfectly controllable.

And then there's my bootcamp.

Love from California,


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