Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Toilet training

Dear sisters,
I spend a lot of time upside down looking at my dog’s bottom. I realize it may look ridiculous, seeing me like that on the strip of muddy grass stuck against our building, but it is important for me to know what comes out, before I can go back in.
As a dog-owner I have learned to be observant. When the dog comes out like a wind-up toy, whizzing from side to side, nose to the ground, success will not be far. On the other hand, I have found, if the dog nestles himself in the middle of the road in a leisurely fashion and starts chewing a stick, it might not happen just yet.
After a successful session, with the nr. 2 included (always a high-pitched, praiseworthy moment), I do not hesitate to pick up the result with my hand dipped in a little plastic bag; it is a swift motion, down, up and around and voila!, it is gone, as if it was never there; inspection of substance as it goes into the bag. Is it green and slimy? Maybe his new diet of raw cow gut with tender heart pieces has not settled well into the bowels yet. We will have to keep watch. 
After three weeks, we have had exactly two days of no accidents in the house. But then, I no longer have qualms about the inside clean-up either; basic household vinegar and speed are of the essence.
I need a little more training as dog-owner, so we go to puppy school on Sunday. The puppy trainer is a remarkable woman with thunder thighs, wellies and a thick chin. She speaks loudly, with affectation. She is quite famous in this part of town. She does not want to be on Facebook, and taking pictures of her is an indecent act in her opinion. She sometimes chases passersby who dare to raise their i-phone in her direction.
A dog is toilet trained if it does everything where it should for three weeks running, the trainer says, so we have a few more weeks to go. At least it is all more structured now. S3, you should have no problems, when you come to dog-sit at the end of the month. 
Here is a comic about the paradox of the dog which was sent us and made us laugh, as we have found it to be accurate.
Love to you all,

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